New York City demands exuberant strength from every person who decides to call it home. I’m Lorenzo Basque and I have tried every drug except LSD, had sex with almost everyone and I do not feel ashamed of it. In fact, I feel proud of myself. I refuse to identify with a single label that would put me in a box just like what society does to everyone. But the only thing I haven’t explored is probably the experience of what it’s like to be in a serious relationship with someone. That’s my missing link. I don’t want to call myself a weak motherfucker just because there’s one human experience that I’m missing, no fucking way.

I showed up thirty minutes early for my date with Franziska, my first real date in years, with a bundle of white tulips. I asked the Hostess for a table near the window. I have to admit that I feel fucking nervous, like a high school kid who’s about to pick up the most popular girl for date to watch a drive in movie. I sat down on the table by myself and started writing the things that I will talk about to Franziska. Then I started to imagine what would her company be like without me fucking her. Hi, my name is Lorenzo Basque and I’m an asshole. This whole dating thing is making me feel stranger than fiction. Finally, Franziska arrived. She was wearing a burgundy blouse and black leather skirt and black stiletto. She styled her hair similar to Audrey Hepburn from the movie, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and her lips as red as blood, she could be my own version of Snow White from the Black Forest. I have to say, Franziska looked more beautiful than the last time I saw her. She immediately noticed me and

“Guten Abend!” She said to me while smiling.
“Good evening!” I responded.

Franziska and stared at each other for a minute and I almost forgot to stand up and pull up a chair for her. I gave her the bundle of tulips that I bought.

“You look nice, like I really want to fuck you right here!”

She just smiled at me.

“I thought this was supposed to be a date without fucking?”
“Oh right, sorry.”
“So why are we here Lorenzo?”

I was surprised on her question.

“What do you mean what are we doing here?”
“Why did you ask me for a dinner date?”
“I think you already know why, I want us to be–”
“To be what?”
“Can I answer your question later?”
“OK, fine. This restaurant is really nice.”
“Yeah, This is where I took Hanna four years ago.”
“Who’s Hanna?”
“She’s the creature from Munich who fucked me up!”
“Oh, do you mind giving me a little story about her?”

I laughed off my sadness for a little bit before I revealed details about Hanna to Franziska.

“Sure, I can try. Four years ago, I was working at a hostel in Harlem and I met her. I fell madly in love with her, like head over the fucking heels! But she didn’t feel the same. So I spiraled out of control. I couldn’t sleep and eat for weeks, all I could think about is her. I would say that being with her was the most catastrophic and happiest moment of my life.”

“Did she have any idea of what you were going through? I mean, did she know?”

“Absolutely, but she didn’t do anything. I mean, we did not even fuck! She just stopped talking to me and eventually deleted me on facebook, I really hated her when she did that. What a cunt!”

Franziska laughed a little bit and seemed to be amused.

“Wow, sounds like she left her mark on you.”
“Unfortunately, she did.”
“Are you closed down?”
“What do you mean?
“Some people when they go through that experience, they close down and become frozen.”
“No, I’m not closed down at all. I’m still very much in love.”
“I’m aware that you and I are on a date right now but I’m not sure if I could take Hanna’s place..”

I looked into Franziska’s eyes and noticed her honesty. I also looked at the corner of the restaurant and saw an image of Hanna. She is staring back at me with longing in her face, and then she began to speak. Every word she said echoed in the room like a melody.

“You really think she’s honest with you? No one will ever be honest with you Lorenzo. There’s only me and will always be the only one. I will dance in your heart forever. You and I both know that you will never love anyone as much as you love me. I’m you’re one true love. Any attempts that you make to erase me from your memory will only make you suffer. I will dance in your heart forever.” Hanna uttered.

“I’m still in love with you…” I murmured while looking at an empty corner of the room.

“What?” Franziska asked.

I looked back at the corner of the restaurant and Hanna appeared again.

“You are such a pussy! Tell this German bitch to fuck off! All you need and want is a Bavarian woman like me. No one will make feel like a real man more than I do. Get out of this circus now while you can. Living with me inside your head is so much better than reality. Why don’t you just accept that? Instead of pretending that you could love again?! I’m the only one that you love, there is no else!”

“Shut up!!” I yelled and stood up from my chair. Franziska was looking at me, she is disturbed and worried at the same time.

“Lorenzo, who are you talking to? There is no one on that corner.”

I also looked around and noticed that all the restaurant patrons were looking at me. I looked at the empty corner of the room again and Hanna was no longer there. I looked back at Franziska and felt sorry that she had to see me like that. I also noticed that tears were streaming down my face. I was crying like a motherfucker without even realizing it. Am I losing my fucking mind?

“I’m sorry Franziska, I can’t be here right now.

I abruptly ran out of the restaurant and made my way towards Broadway and 20th Street. I was running like a lost puppy looking for someone who had my leash. I got tired of running and ended up on 3rd Avenue, at this place called BARFLY. I quietly walked inside and saw an attractive couple staring at me as I order my glass of drink at the bar. I had a neat glass of bourbon. The attractive couple, both in their late thirties I say, looked like a mature version of Abercrombie & Fitch models. All white but good enough to have sex with. I raised my glass to them and they cheered back with their drinks. At the moment, I know where this night is going.

TO BE CONTINUED…