It was almost 4 AM in the morning, but to be very specific, it was 3:45 AM. Myself and a few handful of dancing strangers inside the NARCISSA bar at the Standard Hotel in East Village showed no signs of slowing down. Me and Jay are also still dancing to a 2020 rave remix of “Heart of Glass” by Blondie. The bartender announced, “Last Call!”, and then in less than fifteen minutes, everyone started leaving. I looked at the time and it was 4 AM. I told Jay, that there’s this after hours club in Brooklyn called Bushwick A/V. So off we go to BK.

By the time we arrive at Bushwick A/V, the whole room was dancing, the energy of the place was reminiscent of STUDIO 54 back in the 70’s where hedonism was mandatory. There were round standing tables on the corner of the dance floor where I could see the after hour clubbers doing lines of cocaine, from the post college kids in their early twenties to the established professionals in their early forties. Jay went to the bathroom, I kept on dancing and then I noticed someone, staring at me from the corner of the dance floor. He was tall, probably around 6″1, curly blonde hair, deep blue eyes, high cheeked bone. He continued to look at me as if he knew me. I turned around to face my direction towards the DJ, then suddenly, he found himself dancing in front of me.

“Good music right?” He said.

I noticed a distinctive Scandinavian accent from him.

“Yeah, it’s legit!” I replied.

“I’m Markus, what’s your name?”

“I’m Lorenzo, where’s your unique accent from?”

“Gothenburg, Sweden.”

“I knew you were Swedish but I wasn’t sure which part.”

“How about you? Which part of America do you hail from?”

“California!”

“I knew it.”

“Oh yeah? What else do you know about me?”

“I know that you’re Bi.”

“Oh really? You’re pansexual that’s for sure!”

“You got me!”

When I looked at the corner, I saw a raven haired young woman, porcelain skin, grey eyes, she’s probably around twenty three or twenty four years old. Me and Markus looked at each other, smiled, and then gestured for the raven haired girl to come over. She started dancing toward us and then we started dancing with her as well.

“I’m Francesca, who are you guys?” She asked.

Her distinctive Southern California accent, where every word she utters is well pronounced, making herself sound like a television newscaster, peaked my interest and reminded me of growing up in the Hancock Park area of Los Angeles.

“I’m Lorenzo.” I said

“I’m Markus.” He replied.

“You two look hot dancing together, is it alright if I join in?” She replied.

“Of course!” I responded.

When I looked at the corner of the room, I saw Jay staring at the corner of the dance floor. His face painted with observation and curiosity. He didn’t look angry that I abandoned him and went with my rendezvous with some guy and girl. He was curious with a blank face and continued to stare at me and what I was doing. So I decided to stop dancing with Markus and Francesca and walked over to him.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey, found yourself some interesting friends I see..” He replied.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dip my finger in another trough.”

“Don’t be sorry, I enjoy seeing you having a good time.”

“Look, we don’t have to stick together the entire night. You can play with other people here tonight while I play with my new friends.”

“It’s OK, I know how to enjoy myself at a party without playing with anyone.”

Just like that I went back dancing with Markus and Francesca. Francesca took out a tiny ziploc pouch of molly. We all dipped our fingers in it and took hits. Then we all agreed to have a brief threesome in the bathroom. We held each other’s hands on our way to the unisex bathroom, with Jay watching me with concrete curiosity. He watched me, Markus, and Francesca make our way to the narrow bathroom. The three of us went inside and succumbed to our hedonistic principles. I’m not gonna lie, I enjoyed myself more than my two playmates did. There’s nothing more primal and intense than sexual chemistry. Our bodies flowed into each other like water. It was the ecstasy that I needed. By the time we got out of the bathroom, there was a line of drugged up motherfuckers, giving the three of us the dirty looks while we made our way back to the dancing area. Surprisingly, I saw Jay looking at me from the corner of the room. He looked somewhat disappointed but I can’t really point a finger on him since I’m not entirely sure if he’s jealous or angry, or whatever. So I exchanged numbers with Markus and Francesca and then walked over to Jay.

“Hey, how you doing?” I asked.

“Pretty good, how about yourself?” he replied.

“I want to ask you something.”

“Ask me anything”

“Why are you so being nice to me?! We’ve hooked up in some sleazy bathroom earlier, you’ve watched me whore around! You don’t even know me! And you’re still here waiting for me! Stop mindfucking me! What the fuck do you want?!”

He looked at me straight in the eyes, with nothing but kindness. I could sense that he understands my fucked up universe.

“I want to be around you as much as possible. I like you. I like you more that just a hook up that we did in that sleazy dive bar. And I don’t care how many people you whore around with, just as long as it makes you feel good. Because ultimately, I enjoy seeing you happy. I want you to be with me, and even if both of us decide to be in serious relationship, you can still have as many lovers as you want just as long you’re with me at the end of each day. I want you as a person, not just a random hook up. I’m aware that you’ve been hurt before by every single person whom you wanted to love you, more than thousand times. And I also know that we’ve only met tonight and I remembered something, when I was seven years old, I made a puzzle of the face of the future person that I’m supposed to love. Of all the lovers that passed through my life, none of them matched the puzzle. But then I met you, and you matched perfectly. And I also know, that you’ve been hurt before by every single person whom you wanted to love you, more than thousand times. If you allow me, I will make sure that you will never get hurt again and perhaps eventually forget what it’s like to feel hurt. This is not love at first sight, I love you all along!”

Tears stream down my face, not from sadness but from fear itself. The fear of being loved. He disarmed the ammunition of my heart and whatever’s left of it. What he said also caused an astral storm within my personal dimension. The undeniable fact that deep within myself, I too, wanted love as much as everyone else.

The tears continued to stream down my face, like the Hoover Dam. I tried so hard to contain every fragment of my emotion but at this time. I cannot.

He wiped the tears off my face with his hands and kissed me on the forehead.

“No more tears.” He said.

“About fucking time!” I replied.

I then grabbed his face and kissed him on the lips. Usually, kissing someone doesn’t get me euphoric since kissing itself isn’t really a part of sex. But this experience with him, is none like any other. For the first time, I feel love.

Jay took out a tiny vial of cocaine from his pocket and dipped a key, he snorted it first and so did I. We danced ourselves away to a techno remix of “Heaven Is A Place On Earth” by some 80’s pop singer that I don’t know. We danced until the after hours club closed down at around 2 PM.

THE END!